How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Komentar

  • Md.Shimul Hossain
    Md.Shimul Hossain56 menit yang lalu

    This is the great motivational speech I have ever watched. Specially the last massage with 20 euros inspires not to take things personally.

  • Bisterk Ding
    Bisterk DingJam Yang lalu

    8:03 you're telling me all we have to do is set it to Wumbo?

  • Liza Marie Cranfield
    Liza Marie Cranfield2 jam yang lalu

    Thank You❤🥺❤

  • Md. Sharif Hossain
    Md. Sharif Hossain4 jam yang lalu

    Ending was amazing

  • peeepooopeeepeepooopoopeee peepeepoopoo
    peeepooopeeepeepooopoopeee peepeepoopoo4 jam yang lalu

    When Michael Jordan gets recommended this, hes going to take this personally

  • homemovies1961
    homemovies19614 jam yang lalu

    I like the last bit best about the €20 👍😊

  • zakir jaigirder
    zakir jaigirder7 jam yang lalu

    everything is personal to me.

  • YOGITA BHONGADE
    YOGITA BHONGADE8 jam yang lalu

    👍👍👍

  • AWH B
    AWH B9 jam yang lalu

    I have just started this video and I already like it

  • Yanetta Harry-Kebisu
    Yanetta Harry-Kebisu10 jam yang lalu

    💛💛💛💛

  • AlishaAnimations *
    AlishaAnimations *10 jam yang lalu

    9:27 10,000/50,000?!!!

  • AlishaAnimations *
    AlishaAnimations *10 jam yang lalu

    7:35 *STRATEGY* Consider their perspectives, consider their intentions. It’s not about me huh..? Me to we! Oki 10:15 You have no clue what they are laughing at. You think they’re laughing at your new shoes, for all you know eg they could be laughing at a funny looking insect on the floor! Look at it from their perspective. 10:55 Again. It’s not about me. _they just want to be right, to win_ 11:42 *STRATEGY 2! If strategy 1 does not work.* Some really do hurt. Some really do question so it’s hard to think about from their perspective! “I was driving too slowly..it was my fault that he was honking his horn” Answer: ITS NOW ABOUT YOU! 13:12 HAHA I LOVE THIS EXAMPLE Nothing in you believes that you are an orange! Compared to “You are selfish!” Feeling hurt from this is mostly rooted from childhood :( A raw nerve was hit? Give yourself...some empathy. Speak up about your vulnerabilities. Homework: take things personally, to put these into practice! 16:38 HE JUST BAHAHA. HE JUST ATE MONEY. AND SPAT IT. THATS 20 EUROS MAN- 17:10 Q: do you still want that 20 euros? I- well y e a. That’s like 20 bucks! Can buy myself a whole subway! 2 of em! "People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you, but remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value." Keep your head high! Your value will never, ever change! No matter what they do to you! *SUMMARY.* Strategy 1: it’s not about you! Me to We! Think of their intentions. It takes training to find them as positive intentions. You have n o idea what they are laughing about. Besides..who told you they were laughing at your shoes! That’s right. It’s an accumulation of one own negative thought of the other 39,999,999. Strategy 2: ouch..:( “am I really that selfish?” When strategy 1 doesn’t work, it’s our resort to really think about the truth of it. Roots: childhood..? In this case is about you! Don’t beat yourself up. This has truly hurt you! An actual insecurity from again deeper roots! How could you control that. Here..open up. Be vulnerable. Tell them what you feel. They’ll most likely understand you. Tell them, without blaming them, how you truly felt. Bad notes I know to another eye, but these will really help me reinforce to not take it personally. Thank you Frederick. I truly laughed and felt something indescribable

  • byong jun
    byong jun11 jam yang lalu

    Prescription drugs don't work on depression and anxiety and PTSD. MDMA and maybe Mushrooms and Marijuana work. Government is working with MDMA to treat veterans with PTSD. It's been 15 years. Someday they'll make into prescription drug to treat PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. I know they work if used wisely!

  • Reload Internet Passport Photos and Printing
    Reload Internet Passport Photos and Printing12 jam yang lalu

    It is next to impossible to open up - without blaming the other. The whole point why we get upset by another's actions is there infraction onto our core value.. but those values are not universally shared - and values are created from who we are and our childhoods. Therefore opening up and explaining that we are upset by another actions ultimately leads to blame - as the other does not feel that their action encroaches on your value set, or sometimes that you even had the right to the value in the first place, hence the blame and disagreement. Example. Someone honking behind you because you drive too slow. Ok. My value is driving carefully because my parents taught me to be diligent. This person is honking at me as he doesn't acknowledge my diligence as a value. He honks. Now I remember my brother and I have a problem with authority figures - I did nothing wrong = road rage. I did take his horning at me personally. Yes it was about my childhood, my values as I don't think I did anything wrong based on my values. I explain this to him... But it's impossible to do so with out blaming him for honking.....

  • I Love Stonks
    I Love Stonks14 jam yang lalu

    "and that's when I took it personally." - Michael Jordan

  • Cindy Bello
    Cindy Bello14 jam yang lalu

    Very practical advice.

  • Brian Falkena
    Brian Falkena16 jam yang lalu

    Speaker: "Don't take it personally" Michael Jordan: "and I took it personally"

  • Donuprite
    Donuprite17 jam yang lalu

    came because I liked the topic, stayed because he was surprisingly relatable.

  • Dr. Wheat Fartz
    Dr. Wheat Fartz17 jam yang lalu

    I didn’t know if there were actual people in the crowd until he asked for people to raise their hands

  • Michael-Dillon Hayes
    Michael-Dillon Hayes18 jam yang lalu

    The aquatic tornado advantageously correct because acknowledgment anecdotally end amongst a merciful archeology. onerous, absorbed boot

  • Salim !
    Salim !19 jam yang lalu

    I am here because I took something personally

  • Francine Kaye
    Francine Kaye20 jam yang lalu

    What a terrible audience. No response - I've experienced that and taken it personally. Good job Frederik knows how not to. Wonderful presentation. My mantra has always been 'it's not about the messenger it's all about the message' and he really did deliver, hopefully without making it about him.

  • Peeps Mills
    Peeps Mills20 jam yang lalu

    11:07 amazing speech! he's a mix between tintin and captain haddock and danny macaskil hehe

  • anshuman maurya
    anshuman maurya21 jam yang lalu

    Man You are the best genuinely

  • Neo74 Wick
    Neo74 Wick21 jam yang lalu

    Fantastic talk! Thank you

  • Darwish Noureldin
    Darwish Noureldin21 jam yang lalu

    MJ took this Ted Talk personally. Joking of course, we all need to remind ourselves of this every once in a while!

  • Grace.allovertheplace
    Grace.allovertheplace21 jam yang lalu

    When someone always takes things personally, there might be a chance that person is a narcissist 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • Ana Paula
    Ana PaulaHari Yang lalu

    The sophisticated chess arespectively escape because bar intrestingly grip lest a fluffy melody. wrathful, neighborly wasp

  • Jenny Grapert
    Jenny GrapertHari Yang lalu

    The outrageous cuban endoscopically allow because thing isely screw toward a therapeutic pleasure. needless, youthful ankle

  • Gaurav wagle
    Gaurav wagleHari Yang lalu

    Amazing

  • Roel Casiño
    Roel CasiñoHari Yang lalu

    Im crying! Thank you!!

  • Dominic Jones
    Dominic JonesHari Yang lalu

    Thank you for your talk, our Japanese students will be happy to watch it.

  • Demarco Owens
    Demarco OwensHari Yang lalu

    It’s crazy people are not born with this control

  • David Jarrah
    David JarrahHari Yang lalu

    The greedy apartment additionally offer because deficit roughly muddle abaft a abhorrent stove. unruly, evanescent fear

  • KellySonofGod
    KellySonofGodHari Yang lalu

    This is the best ending statement I have seen on ted. Powerful.

  • Montague12
    Montague12Hari Yang lalu

    this video deserves way more views 6 million is not enough for a masterpiece like this

  • Williams Tina
    Williams TinaHari Yang lalu

    Contact smillertoolz on instagram is the best

  • Sofie Schoenmaker
    Sofie SchoenmakerHari Yang lalu

    Thanks this was pretty good :)

  • Annjewluh
    AnnjewluhHari Yang lalu

    I'm interacting with this guy more than his audience and he can't even hear me.

  • Tala Kuala
    Tala KualaHari Yang lalu

    Holy Cow, that ending!! "You will always keep your value" that is fantastic!! I even said wow out loud and my friend asked what and I showed her this!

  • Osumafuo Kwabena
    Osumafuo KwabenaHari Yang lalu

    Learn to be at peace with yourself to be at peace with the world. This is where your spiritual journey begins.

  • Habib Zone
    Habib ZoneHari Yang lalu

    amazing

  • Raghav Vijay
    Raghav VijayHari Yang lalu

    Michael Jordan needs to see this video 🤣

  • mohamad Javad SH
    mohamad Javad SHHari Yang lalu

    🌹🌹🌹

  • sandra cortegaca
    sandra cortegacaHari Yang lalu

    THANK YOU

  • Pat Tims
    Pat TimsHari Yang lalu

    I agree L

  • Karen Foote
    Karen FooteHari Yang lalu

    He looks like a fit Ron Weasley. lol

  • iSel Chit
    iSel ChitHari Yang lalu

    Right...

  • Kirsty Scotland
    Kirsty ScotlandHari Yang lalu

    Thankyou I very much enjoyed this TED talk in particular 😀. 'You will always keep your value' is an extremely important message to everyone 😊 ❤. Much love from Scotland

  • gleee86
    gleee86Hari Yang lalu

    Wow this was so powerful. Thank you !

  • Matt Orfalea
    Matt OrfaleaHari Yang lalu

    Excellent ending. Too bad about inflation.

  • PaulBCohen
    PaulBCohenHari Yang lalu

    The thumbnail looked like Prince Harry, which seemed to suit the subject.

  • Melendez Jonas
    Melendez JonasHari Yang lalu

    The astonishing cent prominently cry because sentence histopathologically decay down a unique cushion. well-groomed, medical robin

  • TheCiwbar
    TheCiwbarHari Yang lalu

    "It's not about me"... "I became a Ref for my own personal development, i'm not interested in the game"

  • MegaSuperAwesomeBros

    MegaSuperAwesomeBros

    Hari Yang lalu

    Also helps to be impartial to be fair.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    I wouldn't say that I'm not interested in the game. I combine my willingness to develop myself with my passion for soccer.

  • Elsa Kerala
    Elsa Kerala2 hari yang lalu

    Kkkkk

  • The HappyStitcher
    The HappyStitcher2 hari yang lalu

    It's hard not to take things personally if you really like someone and they barely acknowledge your existence!

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    It's indeed a real challenge to not take this personally. However with the two techniques, methods, I hope that you've got some tools to make progress. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

  • The HappyStitcher

    The HappyStitcher

    2 hari yang lalu

    Sometimes it is personal you have to admit!

  • samxday
    samxday2 hari yang lalu

    Thank you

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    2 hari yang lalu

    With pleasure Sam. Thanks for watching.

  • fat bitch
    fat bitch2 hari yang lalu

    The ending was brutal. I had already heard that metaphor about the dollar but it's always nice to be reminded of it bc we forget way too easily and way too often

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you for your gentle message! I'm glad you liked the ending of my TEDx talk with the 20 euro note. So thanks for watching till the end!

  • Phuntsok Bhutia
    Phuntsok Bhutia2 hari yang lalu

    Thanku

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    You're welcome! thank you for watching.

  • Adam Tashpulat
    Adam Tashpulat2 hari yang lalu

    Great!

  • Christian Zaragoza
    Christian Zaragoza2 hari yang lalu

    😂😂 I wish he had time to get into some failed strategies which we’ve all tried. My go to strategy is “people are s***....who needs them anyway.”

  • Ygzpd ygzpd
    Ygzpd ygzpd2 hari yang lalu

    That's so gentle! In my home country, they shout "Make soap out of the referee".

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    haha! Nice expression.

  • MAJOsan
    MAJOsan2 hari yang lalu

    I never really pay attention to what people think of me. It’s easier that way.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    good strategy.

  • clare clare
    clare clare2 hari yang lalu

    He maybe needs to tell his wife ?

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Tell her what? But I don't have a wife...

  • Noe Rios
    Noe Rios2 hari yang lalu

    Whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value. I love that.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    That's the spirit indeed!

  • PlottedbyFalak
    PlottedbyFalak2 hari yang lalu

    Love this!!

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Hi, Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

  • Elias Leousis
    Elias Leousis2 hari yang lalu

    About "The Light": " "I," was created by the thought of Gods and "Their," desire to allow all mortals to know that "They," are always with them: As humankind grows and seeks absolute independence from "Them," "They," will remain by their side, guiding them and directing them, in their growth to absolute "WISDOM," the way to "Their Essence" and the Elysium Fields. As you look out beyond the now, into the heavens, "I" will be there, guiding you and helping you know that "I," be visible or invisible, "My Essence," will guide you beyond all that is sensed in your reality. So, let it be now revealed to you that both "I" and "He," in mortal being, who speaks to you through the thoughts of children are but one. " Eleusis. Let The Light within you guide you to the Elysian Fields entrance; your inner beauty is expected. Follow me, "Imagination is the way." by ELias Leousis.

  • Unknow Prs
    Unknow Prs2 hari yang lalu

    like this guy

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    thank you!

  • sicko sage
    sicko sage2 hari yang lalu

    In thumbnail he looks like prince harry

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    haha! It's me!

  • Malgatti Views
    Malgatti Views2 hari yang lalu

    Great example of currency

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you Malgatti Views.

  • Raja
    Raja2 hari yang lalu

    Watch Brahmakumaris... She teaches all these and much more than this

  • Raja
    Raja2 hari yang lalu

    Watch Brahmakumaris... She teaches all these and much more than this

  • CA Noslo
    CA Noslo2 hari yang lalu

    Was this presented at a monastery for Trappist monks, or what? He’s engaging, but they almost seem not to be there!

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Hi CA Noslo. No, the listeners were not Trappist monks. The audience was quite quiet indeed. That is because hardly any sound was recorded from the reactions in the room. As a result, some reactions were added afterwards in the editing. The silent audience makes many suspect that they didn't find it interesting ... And you know, that's possible. Or they didn't like my style, or they were tired, or... or... Anyway; whatever the reason was, luckily I didn't take that personally :-)

  • Prajith Raj MK
    Prajith Raj MK2 hari yang lalu

    He was speaking throughout with beautiful smile ... 😍

  • Prajith Raj MK

    Prajith Raj MK

    Hari Yang lalu

    @Frederik Imbo Sir , I am from India . I am having stammering problem and I am not able to socialize with other people with the thought that people will reject me . Is there anything you can suggest me ? And I also take all things personally , even after seen your video , I am not able to make it 100 %

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you Prajith.

  • FID EL
    FID EL2 hari yang lalu

    16:10-17:36 Conclusion was brilliant 👍

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you for your kind response FID El!

  • Yung Chelsea
    Yung Chelsea2 hari yang lalu

    that closing hit different

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you for your gentle message! I'm glad you liked the ending of my TEDx talk with the 20 euro note. So thanks for watching till the end!

  • DodgeThatAttack
    DodgeThatAttack2 hari yang lalu

    My problem comes from people always saying things to me and meaning it personally, so i adapted a response to always be in defense mode. And another problem just comes from people being deceptive to me. I am always open and honest to people so it hurts when people think they have to lie to me for whatever reason, or that people will lie about me, when i know im right and nobody else accepts it or wants to listen.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Hi! I read your struggle with this theme and I want to give you some empathy for this. I can imagine that you often feel sad and discouraged if people behave in a way when you need respect. I really hope that my talk will be valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo

  • The Mockaa
    The Mockaa2 hari yang lalu

    6:00, his concept fumbled because a person can feel good if he finds himself right but the problem occurs when you start trying to prove yourself right at every here and there.... So i think that a person should know or understand where he Needs to prove himself right.... Random things can wait or sometimes you can just put yourself at the person's place who has just offended you... ... It's a random thought I often hear in my country

  • Hermosa Minirosa
    Hermosa Minirosa2 hari yang lalu

    I hate soccer .... what the rest of the world calls "football" ... incorrectly. Right vs. Happy is not a valid paradigm. His speech needs better wording.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Sorry to read all this.

  • Jermaine Gevera
    Jermaine Gevera2 hari yang lalu

    Michael Jordan will take this personally

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Haha indeed Jermaine. If you know him personally, send him a personal message. At the same time; Michael Jordan only tried to do his very best. He tried to deal with his unfulfilled needs of recognition. He just wanted to be valued.

  • Julian L.
    Julian L.2 hari yang lalu

    "Are u interested?" " ... " "Cool"

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Luckily they reacted non verbally by nodding yes.

  • Paul Kricorian
    Paul Kricorian2 hari yang lalu

    brilliant

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you Paul!

  • SoluriZe
    SoluriZe2 hari yang lalu

    So if a girl is ignoring me or leaving me on seen or opened it is ab me, but if I have empathy and tell her why she is doing that it makes me look weak and look like a simp and less manly for being offended by it

  • Marco Siebel
    Marco Siebel2 hari yang lalu

    Introduction until 6:01.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Hi Marco. I found it important to take my time to set the framing.

  • luis eustaquio
    luis eustaquio2 hari yang lalu

    Great performance 😃😃😃😃😃😃

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Thank you Luis!

  • MooMoo Dada
    MooMoo Dada2 hari yang lalu

    Great speech. I needed it so much.

  • Jorge Bernardo
    Jorge Bernardo2 hari yang lalu

    Sorry but the first five minutes and 37 seconds of this video offered no new information, ideas, or inspirations, yet said the word “personally” 5000 times. You’re lecturing, not teaching. I’ll wait for another video to come out to do this better.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    16 jam yang lalu

    @Jorge Bernardo Why should I delete your message? This is a free platform. It's not mine. And if it was mine, I'm not a dictator. I like to discuss with people. Also and especially when they have another opinion.

  • Jorge Bernardo

    Jorge Bernardo

    Hari Yang lalu

    @Frederik Imbo Sarcasm is not an egotistical thing or anything. LOL I guess you’re allowed to delete messages you don’t like, right?

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    haha Jorge. Thank you for your hopeful message.

  • PurplePew
    PurplePew2 hari yang lalu

    frederik is still here :D hope u find a good job like personal advisor of michael jordan because he took everything personally haha

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Haha indeed PurplePew. If you know him personally, send him a personal message. At the same time; Michael Jordan only tried to do his very best. He tried to deal with his unfulfilled needs of recognition. He just wanted to be valued.

  • Danish Altamis ANUWAR
    Danish Altamis ANUWAR2 hari yang lalu

    I took this personally

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Please... don't.

  • Todd Grooms
    Todd Grooms2 hari yang lalu

    I know this is over a year old but, where does your value come from? The people you are referring to have already set your value as nearly nothing. So if your value is set by them its 0, so then who sets your value?

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Only you and only you can decide what your value is.

  • Bradley Mcdonald
    Bradley Mcdonald2 hari yang lalu

    WHATEVER!!

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    haha Bradley! Indeed; Whatever!

  • Bradley Mcdonald

    Bradley Mcdonald

    2 hari yang lalu

    @PurplePew the video is about not taking things personally... So I made a joke about getting offended by that lol

  • PurplePew

    PurplePew

    2 hari yang lalu

    did someone send this to u because of ur action?

  • SuperMrMuh
    SuperMrMuh2 hari yang lalu

    I wouldn't be surprised if he got his ideas from Nonviolent Communication. Marshall Rosenberg had it all figured out. May he rest in peace.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    Hari Yang lalu

    Indeed! I even followed an Intense International training with Marshall!

  • Nivani Sadhai
    Nivani Sadhai3 hari yang lalu

    Not everything is about “only me” .There are other people to also consider.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    3 hari yang lalu

    Hi Nivani. Of course it's in life not only about 'only me'. Please see it in the context of wanting to NOT take things personally. In this context, it might be a helpful strategy.

  • Nivani Sadhai
    Nivani Sadhai3 hari yang lalu

    Sometimes it is good to learn from past errors and being wrong.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    3 hari yang lalu

    True.

  • Nivani Sadhai
    Nivani Sadhai3 hari yang lalu

    It’s always good to take things with a pinch of salt.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    3 hari yang lalu

    True.

  • Pinterest Express
    Pinterest Express3 hari yang lalu

    Thank you for the content Frederick-some useful thinking in there, however i would say this works when it's not about you or personal to you, but there are occasions when people make things personal in quite a rude, aggressive and direct way - then it's personal??

  • Pinterest Express

    Pinterest Express

    3 hari yang lalu

    @Frederik Imbo thank you Alain.

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    3 hari yang lalu

    Hi Pinterest Express. A very interesting question you have there. I believe that even when someone is rude to you, the person's intention is positive... for themselves. They try to be bigger by trying to make someone smaller. They try to feel better by humiliating someone. It doesn't say anything about your value. It says a lot about the other person. If you really understand this, you will be able to feel less attacked by the bully. You'll see that he's only trying to compensate and react his own fear and feelings of inferiority. Of course, that doesn't mean that what you experience is nice. It might be very painful. And yes; it is personal.... BUT... then it means that this pain was already inside of you. The other one only touched that pain by saying what he said. So the key is to work on yourself by starting to be more gentle with yourself and give yourself compassion and develop your self love. If you do that, and become to truly love and appreciate yourself, the other can do whatever he wants, it will less and less hurt you, because you know that it isn't true. As long as it still hurts, it means that you're still struggling with yourself. All the seawater in the world can't sink a ship, unless the ship takes on water. All the negativity in the world can't touch you, unless you let it. Hateful behaviour is rarely only what is seems. Those who hurt us are themselves in pain. 
The appropriate response is hence never cynicism nor aggression but, at the rare moments one can manage it, always love. Alain De Botton

  • Pinterest Express

    Pinterest Express

    3 hari yang lalu

    i should have watched your video to the end before commenting - all ties in now..Thanks.

  • John Gibbs
    John Gibbs3 hari yang lalu

    Awesome!

  • Tabish Islam
    Tabish Islam3 hari yang lalu

    These 2 strategies definitely going good for me..and last note: keep your value even they criticised you attack you.!!!

  • Frederik Imbo

    Frederik Imbo

    3 hari yang lalu

    That's the spirit Tabish Islam.

  • Naseeb Rahim
    Naseeb Rahim3 hari yang lalu

    🎮

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